Gracious, Healing Rain

This will probably be all over the place…much in keeping with my emotions, thoughts, and life in general lately…all over the place.

The past few months have been a whirlwind- of activity, of opportunity, of dreams, of failures, of heartbreak, of revelation. The pensive realist in me looks at all of it, wanting to analyze and discuss, to “figure it out”, and make it “OK”. The spiritual visionary in me longs to see the hope in all situations, to hold on to the dreams that have been birthed, to view this as just a season, and to believe that all things broken can be restored. My mind is an ocean of thoughts, many of them opposing, creating a turbulent sea that lashes at the shoreline of my heart. It’s overwhelming. I am overtaken by emotion, often to the point of tears without a moments notice. My attitude is fickle – erratic and unstable. All of this is so unlike me. It’s like living with a stranger. Yet on the other hand I feel as if for the first time in my life, I know who I am…what I want out of life… and I am certain I am on the path to my destiny. How can one be such a walking contradiction?

Tonight began with the promise of nothing special. We headed to church (myself quite unwillingly I’ll add), and I wasn’t expecting to receive much. The air had a certain heaviness in it – that springtime heaviness, where the atmosphere is saturated with moisture and a rainshower is imminent.

About half way through the worship service, I was looking out the window during that beautiful twilight time of evening…where it’s not quite dark, yet not really light. It was a time of grayness, and I realized for the first time what is bothering me most about my current circumstances. They’re gray. No black, no white – no definites, no immediate answers, no quick fixes. I am a passionate person, someone who lives by extremes – all or nothing. Gray areas make me uncomfortable.

As I was watching the twilight, the sky opened up, and a strong and steady rain began to fall. I began to imagine myself standing in this deluge, and I could almost feel the heavy drops soaking me to the innermost parts of my soul. While those around me worshipped to the music the band played, God spoke a familiar song into my heart.

Healing rain is coming down
It’s coming nearer to this old town
Rich and poor, weak and strong
It’s bringing mercy, it won’t be long

Healing rain is coming down
It’s coming closer to the lost and found
Tears of joy, and tears of shame
Are washed forever in Jesus’ name

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I’m not afraid
To be washed in Heaven’s rain

Lift your heads, let us return
To the mercy seat where time began
And in your eyes, I see the pain
Come soak this dry heart with healing rain

And only You, the Son of man
Can take a leper and let him stand
So lift your hands, they can be held
By someone greater, the great I Am

Healing rain, it comes with fire
So let it fall and take us higher
Healing rain, I’m not afraid
To be washed in Heaven’s rain

To be washed in Heaven’s rain…

Healing rain is falling down
Healing rain is falling down
I’m not afraid
I’m not afraid…

I was then reminded by the Spirit of this song

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost but now I’m found
Was blind but now I see so clearly

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

‘Twas grace that taught my heart to fear
And grace my fears relieved
How precious did that grace appear
The hour I first believed

Hallelujah, grace like rain falls down on me
Hallelujah, all my stains are washed away, washed away

When we’ve been there ten thousand years
Bright shining as the sun
We’ve no less days to sing Your praise
Than when we first begun

Grace is defined as: unmerited divine assistance given humans for their regeneration or sanctification.

I stood still and received His unmerited divine assistance as it rained down upon me. It was like a steady stream, flowing over me, calming me, quieting me.

And when I got home this evening, God brought me this scripture and more revelation through a friend’s blog:

Psalm 23 – a psalm of David

The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not be in want.

2 He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,

3 he restores my soul.
He guides me in paths of righteousness
for his name’s sake.

4 Even though I walk
through the valley of the shadow of death, [a]
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.

6 Surely goodness and love will follow me
all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the LORD

I have read, quoted and prayed this scripture many, many times over the years, but tonight a new revelation was deposited in my spirit.

My emotions are raw. I am sad…mourning even. I am confused by God’s plans, and angry at the circumstances I created. I am hurting, and I have hurt people. Yet I have a peculiar peace. I was led beside quiet waters tonight. There is glory for Him when we have a stillness in our turmoil and pain.

Am I ok? No. Do I know what the future holds? No. Do I have any answers? No.

But I don’t have to. He is leading me down a path toward something good. It may feel like the valley of the shadow of death, but wherever I go, He is with me. And wherever He leads, goodness and love are sure to follow. Only He can restore my soul. So for now, I’ll bask in His grace at twilight and remain still.



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